The Day I Stopped Living Scared

I was sitting in a hotel cafe in Iraq when my life changed forever.

It was 2007. The US occupation of Iraq was in full-swing, and the civil war that it had set in motion was at its height.

Some parts of Iraq were scary as hell, all the time.

Where I lived was safer, but there were plenty of suicide bombings, kidnappings, and terrorist sleeper cells to keep us on our toes.

And so it was, sitting in a smoke-filled hotel cafe, with Al Jazeera coverage of the war running nonstop on the corner TV, that I struck up a conversation with my local chai guy.

I think the chai guy’s name started with a “B”. But, honestly, I didn’t file it away, because I didn’t know he was going to change my life forever.

***

So, one day, B says, “Mr. Jeremy, can you help my little cousin? She was born with a huge hole in her heart and there’s not a doctor in all of Iraq who can save her life.”

I did what anyone would do…

I said “no”.

Save a life? In the middle of a war?

That’s a pretty big ask. Better to play it safe than take a risk and let someone down, right?

But B the Barista wouldn’t let me off the hook so easily.

“Mr. Jeremy!” he pleaded, “You are an American. Do you know what that means?

“It means you have more money, more influence, and more access than I will probably ever have.

“You’re worried about failing. But she’s already dead without your help.

“What if you try… and succeed!?”

I was 27. I’d just moved to Iraq with my wife and one-year-old baby girl “to help people”—that’s about all I knew.

We’d been living with a few hours of electricity. No running water for days. And a drive-by shooting had just tried to take out our neighbor.

And here it was, the opportunity to help:

“She was born with a huge hole in her heart...”

A few days later, I agreed to meet with B’s little cousin and her dad.

As they sat down beside me in our little hotel cafe, she colored on a napkin.

I left that meeting with a doctor’s report and just enough hope to make a few calls.

But it only took one. Because the first person I called knew just what to do.

***

This is where it all started for me—where my mindset changed.

A lot of people do what I did—we say “no”. We justify. We crouch. We dodge. We are not only dreadfully afraid of failure, we are afraid of any success that might eventually lead us so far outside of our comfort zone that we end up in failure.

When B said, “what if you try and succeed”, everything changed for me. I stopped living scared. And I started viewing everything through his lens of possibility.

Could we save his cousin’s life? Possibly.

Could we train Iraqi surgeons to save the lives of 10,000s more? Probably…

Could we help those trapped by ISIS? Why not?!

Or provide jobs to refugees with nothing but a smartphone? Of course!

I paid $.25 for my glass of chai that day. But that $.25 has gone on to create more than $1 billion dollars in economic uplift, all because I changed my mindset.

(How we did that is an email for another day…)

***

I told someone the $1B number the other day and they scoffed. They literally said, “How could a normal guy like you create $1B in economic uplift—you’re not a tech titan!”

My first response was, “Well, it’s actually much more than $1B, but I wanted to see your initial reaction—and you didn’t disappoint!”

Second, I’m not normal.

Normal is scoffing and throwing up roadblocks to what we don’t understand, just like I did when I first said “no” to B’s request for his cousin.

“How could you think someone like me could save a life—I’m not a heart surgeon!”

If that skepticism sounds familiar, it’s because it’s normal.

Excuses.

Deflection.

Anything to avoid risking, engaging, trying, and failing.

Why?

Because we think the world will be as cruel to us as we are to others in our own heads.

But here’s the good news: it’s incredibly easy to break from normal.

***

Where will the next billion in uplift come from?

What’s the economic value of peace?

And how do we nurture global mutuality?

This is why I write and work. For the dreamers, doers, healers, and explorers who take the risks to propel humanity forward.

Whether you’re here as a fellow founder, philanthropist, frontliner, or parent, I’m glad you’re here. I believe in you.

And for what it’s worth, I’m not at all worried about you failing.

I’ve made just about every mistake in the book. As long as you’re trying, with real skin in the game, you’re succeeding in my book.

We’re building this community for those looking to take chances on each other and the world.

Love us or hate us, they can’t ignore us. Otherwise, things just stay… normal.

Tens of thousands of children would die from preventable disease.

Millions would go without water.

Bombed out cities would sit in rubble.

And human trafficking would continue unabated.

Perhaps it is crazy to think we can change the world—especially when we look around and so few are even willing to change themselves.

But too many of us have talked ourselves out of even trying.

Shy to sing the song in our hearts…

Scared to build the product of our dreams…

And too comfortable to step toward the ledge for a better view.

Breathing in and out and calling it a “life”.

All for fear of failing.

But what if you succeed?

Jeremy Courtney
Cofounder
HUMANITE

@thejcourt