Is there really a season for everything?

Last week, I referenced the folk classic “Turn, Turn, Turn” to welcome Spring and encourage anyone who’s been in a season of death and is ready for some change.

But a few interesting questions came back that I didn’t expect (though I probably should have):

1. How can a peacemaker say there’s a season to kill, hate, war, destroy, etc?

2. When it happened to you, did you really feel like it was appropriate, just something happening in its time?

Today, I want to take the lyrics of the song and explore this ancient wisdom together.

I’ve grouped the lyrics into three themes:

1. The Life-Death Cycle

2. The Build-Break Cycle

3. The Pleasure-Pain Cycle

Let’s look at them one at a time and see if we can come to an understanding, as aspiring and struggling peacemakers, for the claim that there is a season for everything under heaven.

The Life-Death Cycle

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap

The idea that we all die is easy to ignore, but it’s arguably the foundation of the entire poem. To the degree that we resist this, everything else becomes harder.

But it gets more interesting. Because the seed’s falling to the ground is both a birth and a death. Specifically, a death that brings life. Similarly, harvest is nothing but mass death—cutting down grains, pulling fruit from their life-source, etc. But this grim reaping is what provides life for those who consume it.

Try to imagine a world with one half of this equation but not the other… it’s impossible!
In seasons of death, I’m learning to ask, what is being born?

The Pleasure-Pain Cycle

A time to laugh, a time to weep
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
A time of love, a time of hate

If our first grouping is rooted in biological realities, our second has more of an emotional/psychological dimension.

Last night, our family watched a movie about the search for an ancient artifact that would put an end to all violence and pain in the world.

But as our heroes were unveiling their utopian vision, I couldn’t help but think, “Would we even know beauty if we didn’t have to endure its opposite? What is feeling good without reference to feeling bad? Or high without low?”

It’s understandable to want our lives to be all positive all the time. But there’s a reason we binge-watch the shows and pass on the books that drag us through hell: the lows are where the lessons live.

Maybe you can get behind the mourning, etc but (like me) “hate” was a bad word in your house. We weren’t allowed to hate. So, eventually, I made the mistake of chastising others for their hate and negative feelings.

“Now, now, now…. tsk tsk… we don’t hate.”

(It was only later I realized that we weren’t allowed to disclose our hate.)

Hate’s gonna happen—in you and in others towards you. I don’t know one person trying something big in the world who hasn’t engendered serious criticism, no matter how big their message of love.

And I do believe hate is deadly, as we’ll address next. But rather than preach against the feelings we all experience, I’m at the point now where I can say there is a place for it. For one, the negativity could be justified. But at a minimum, it is a signal of somebody else’s pain, which is always worth taking note of.

But when hate comes, whether in me or toward me, I keep my focus on my return to life and love.

The Build-Break Cycle

A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time of war, a time of peace

Ever cut off a pair of pants to make work clothes for the house? Or shuttered a business to start something new?

What about liberal efforts to “destroy the patriarchy” or conservative attempts to stitch back together some of the words, identities, and concepts that have been torn apart across modern life? Are these all right on time?

The Build-Break Cycle involves a lot more action and choice than anything we’ve looked at so far. Can we really say there’s a time to raze villages to the ground? And is everyone allowed to fight equally, or do some get more time(s) to war than others?

How does this square for those who want more peace in the world?

Most of us will spend most our lives rejecting violence, and even hatred. But I’ve come to believe there is more good to be gained by leaving a small part of my heart open to destruction than there is to shutting it out altogether. Here’s why…

Why I stay open to the fights of others

As I sit here in Iraq today in relative safety, I’m only about 1% open to destruction and violence. I prefer diplomacy and negotiation, and our teams put our lives on the line to demonstrate that. Even personally, I’ve chosen to take a few on the chin rather than defend myself and reciprocate harm.

But when ISIS convoys were marauding their way through the deserts, my tolerance for violence against their violence increased a lot.

And I’ve come to accept that this is how it is for others, too. People act on their feelings, their ideologies, their conspiracies, and as proxies for others. If I write off every act of destruction, hatred, and lashing out as “evil”, then I make it harder to see my enemy as normal, as human. But by embracing both sides of the Build-Break Cycle, especially for others, I find it easier to not write people off, easier to forgive, and easier to work for reconciliation.

Plot twist

And about that utopian movie we watched last night? The good guys ended up being the bad guys. Turns out, they weren’t just ridding the world of pain, they were stealing free will.

And maybe that’s the plot twist of modern life as well. There’s an increasing movement to eradicate pain, discomfort, and strenuous effort from our lives. Everything should be easy and no one should ever get hurt (except bad people). But if we want the freedom to be human ourselves, we’ll have to accept that our choices and the choices of others come with pain, even (and perhaps especially) when we had no idea that would be the outcome.

There’s been a lot of destruction in the name of expansion. A lot of death to save life. A lot of trauma pursuing ideals. Should we shut it all down for “good vibes only”? Or might we be stronger if we face the timeless wisdom that everything belongs?

Death, despair, and destruction are only part of the journey, though many get marooned there. But the same seed that falls to the earth dying can rise again to give itself away, so others can truly live.

At this point, I’m largely unsurprised by human destructiveness. But what never ceases to amaze me is our capacity to turn things around and complete the circle. To make peace with those we fought. To embrace those we excluded. To love those we hated.

I swear, it’s not too late.

Jeremy Courtney
Cofounder
HUMANITE

@thejcourt