Before you kill your ego, try this…

A friend this week told me they were experiencing some “very second-half-of-life feelings these days”.

If you’re not familiar with the first/second-half of life idea, it goes like this:

The Two Halves of Life

In the first half of life, you focus on building the structure or vehicle of your life (self, family, business, etc).

In the second half of life, you focus on what to fill it up with and where to point it.

If the first is about effort, success, and praise, the second is about meaning, fulfillment, and purpose.

His comment got me thinking.

I wonder what stage of life most of our readers are in. And would I write differently for one group or the other? (And, for that matter, where am I on this life-cycle?)

The Bridge & Transition Between

In last week’s Guide I found myself straddled—harkening back to that first-half energy when I set myself on fire to “help others” and “change the world”; while reaching forward with questions about where the next $1B in economic uplift will come from.

“First-half” me wants to build it—and assumes you do too.

“Second-half” me wants to coach it—and assumes builders need coaches like I did.

Am I late? Am I on-time? These are the questions I know a lot of us ask when models and frameworks like this come up.

Is Ego the Enemy?

But I’ve found that there can be a tendency to judge one another across these phases of life. Most everyone I’ve met wants to prematurely proclaim themselves a “second-half” kind of person.

“Me!? Still concerned about success, building, and appearances? For shame!”

But, as someone once said, you have to have an ego in order to empty yourself of it.

Today’s Instagram therapy sessions can delude us into thinking that (1) ego is the enemy, while simultaneously telling us (2) to “be confident” and “be yourself”. But these are mixed messages that are better handled one-at-a-time.

First, we figure out who we are.

We must try things.

Fail.

Fight.

Win, lose, repeat.

If you haven’t accomplished anything yet, you have little basis for being confident. So work hard, dig in, and soak up all you can.

This is first-half stuff.

Find your ego. Grow it. Earn your confidence. Become so great at something that you know how to truly stand on your battle-tested convictions in the face of opposition.

Greatness is not the gold stars of a few quarterly reviews. It’s the fruits of seeds planted, pruned, and watered every day over 20, 30, and 40 years of faithfulness.

The Builder, the Co-pilot, and the Guide

For my part, I have not emptied myself of the desire to build yet, though I’ve always cared more about social and economic impact than wealth. Still, these days, I’m spending even more of my time on these second-half matters.

Coaching, advising, gathering. No one really cares what we call it. But the co-pilot’s chair—or even Ground Control—has been beautiful and fulfilling in a way this builder/pilot couldn’t have imagined.

I’m young enough that I’m not done building.

But I’ve seen enough that I feel responsible to guide as well.

So, here’s my thought for the week: if I can help you increase the impact you’re trying to make in the world, let me know. And if you’re a “guide” in your second-half of life and can help me, I’d welcome it!

Here’s a few ways I’ve been helping friends like you around the HUMANITE community:

• Founders: those growth, product, & strategic challenges you’re facing!? I’ve scaled those mountains.
  

• Funders: there’s a hundred things the people you fund want to say to you but can’t. I can help translate for better impact;
  

• Frontline workers: the experiences you’ve been through that no one understands? I’ve been there. And I’ve built some frameworks that can help.

Last week, when I asked “where’s the next $1B in economic uplift going to come from?”, my assumption was…

It’s going to come from you.

From us.

From this community.

And nothing thrills me more than working together across our stages and strengths to see it happen.

Is there something you’ve felt stuck on?

Jeremy Courtney
Cofounder
HUMANITE

@thejcourt